My Grandmother by Elizabeth Jennings
Elizabeth Jennings
‘My Grandmother’, by Elizabeth Jennings
She kept an antique shop — or it kept her.
Among Apostle spoons and Bristol glass,
The faded silks, the heavy furniture,
She watched her won reflection in the brass
Salvers and silver bowls, as if to prove
Polish was all, there was no need of love.
And I remember how I once refused
To go out with her, since I was afraid.
It was perhaps a wish not to be used
Like antique objects. Though she never said
That she was hurt, I still could feel the guilt
Of that refusal, guessing how she felt.
Later, too frail to keep a shop, she put
All her best things in one long narrow room.
The place smelt old, of things too long kept shut.
The smell of absences where shadows come
That can't be polished. There was nothing then
To give her own reflection back again.
And when she died I felt no grief at all,
Only the guilt of what I once refused.
I walked into her room among the tall
Sideboards and cupboards — things she never used
But needed: and no finger-marks were there,
Only the new dust falling through the air.
Elizabeth Jennings – Introduction
Elizabeth Jennings was a notable English poet recognized for her simple, personal, and emotionally direct style. Much of her poetry reflects her Roman Catholic beliefs and her admiration for Italy. She was educated at Oxford High School and later at St. Anne’s College, Oxford. Her first poetry collection, Poems, was published in 1953. She received the Somerset Maugham Award for A Way of Looking, and in 1992, she was honored with the title of Commander of the British Empire.
Summary of My Grandmother
The poem explores the speaker’s memories of her grandmother and reflects on their relationship after the grandmother’s death. It begins with a description of the grandmother’s antique shop, where she carefully collected and polished objects that the speaker considered unimportant. The speaker recalls an incident from childhood when she refused her grandmother’s invitation to go out, a moment that still fills her with guilt.
As time passes, the grandmother becomes old and weak, eventually closing her shop and moving only a few treasured items into a small room. After her death, the speaker revisits these belongings and reflects deeply on her grandmother’s lonely life and emotional needs.
Stanza-wise Analysis
Stanza One
In the first stanza, the speaker describes how closely her grandmother’s identity was connected to her antique shop. It even seems as though the shop “kept” her, suggesting that it gave her purpose and occupied her life.
The shop was filled with heavy and seemingly insignificant objects, which the speaker did not value. However, the grandmother devoted herself to maintaining and polishing them. The speaker remembers her grandmother looking at her reflection in these polished surfaces, indicating her attachment to these objects.
This behavior suggests that the grandmother used the shop and its items to fill an emotional void. Although she appeared independent, the speaker senses that she was actually longing for love and companionship, which she lacked in her life.
Stanza Two
In the second stanza, the speaker reflects on her childhood experiences. As a child, she found her grandmother’s behavior confusing and slightly unsettling. One memory stands out clearly: her grandmother invited her to go out, possibly to help with collecting antiques, but the speaker refused.
At that time, she felt afraid, perhaps because she did not want to become another object used to fill her grandmother’s emotional emptiness. Despite her refusal, she later felt deep guilt. Although her grandmother never openly expressed hurt, the speaker believes she must have been affected by this rejection. This lingering guilt remains with the speaker even after many years.
Stanza Three
The third stanza focuses on the grandmother’s old age. She becomes too weak to manage the shop and is forced to close it. She moves only a few of her most valued items into a small, narrow room.
This reduction of her life to a limited space and a few possessions is deeply symbolic and tragic. The objects themselves are described as unpleasant and associated with “absences where shadows come / That can’t be polished.” This suggests that these items now reflect loss, loneliness, and emotional emptiness rather than comfort.
Unlike before, these objects no longer provide the grandmother with a sense of identity or satisfaction. The absence of reflective surfaces also implies that she has lost her sense of self and purpose.
Stanza Four
In the final stanza, the speaker reflects on the time after her grandmother’s death. While she does not feel guilt about the death itself, she continues to feel remorse for having refused her grandmother’s invitation in the past.
She enters the small room where the grandmother’s belongings are kept. The furniture, such as cupboards and sideboards, had little practical use but were emotionally significant to the grandmother. These objects had replaced human relationships in providing her comfort.
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